The Buffer Zone
Self-harm includes any behavior designed to provide relief from emotional pain through self-inflicted or addictive behavior or self-inflicted physical pain, whether it is a conscious or unconscious habit, tick, belief, or addiction.
Many individuals with self-harm and addiction issues have experienced some form of past trauma, resulting in ongoing unconscious distress. It could be perception, faulty memory, or the way they chose to run the memory as a movie in their mind; whether the memory is accurate, in fact, doesn't matter because until the belief is challenged and replaced with a value, ( Do I need this in my life? Is it a helpful belief today? ) the ability for lasting change will likely be elusive.
Instead of actually feeling and experiencing this pain in ways to move through it and move on, they may use distractions like eating, exercise, drinking, and people-pleasing to buffer how they are truly feeling about themselves as a result of the underlying trauma – for instance, simply talking about it- acknowledging that whatever the past you do not have to be a victim today – sometimes people believe that no one else has problems like theirs, so they are reluctant to have a conversation because they are afraid if someone else knows the truth about them they won't want them around. The underlying issue is your value to yourself and your worthiness to yourself, and people are much too self-involved to hold up their lives for our fears.
Many compulsive behaviors happen this way, from Eating Cupcakes to Smoking Cocaine. Anything that you are doing that you do not want to do, that you cannot use self-control to stop, anxiety overtakes you with, could potentially be a compulsive addictive behavior.
"It doesn't matter if it's eating, shopping, drinking, working, smoking, or drugs, they are all ISM, and any ISM that controls you instead of you being in control of it is a potential problem. Living in the past and fearing the future destroys this day, your present moment. "
Buffering intense feelings and emotions for extended periods and suppressing with substance or habits causes emotional numbness; that's why what used to be solved with one piece of cake eventually took a whole cake, and even that wasn't enough; what used to be solved with one or two beers now takes the whole case of beer and you can't get drunk enough to forget, whatever you belief perception is, resentment lingers, you become cynical, you isolate, you believe its a secret about yourself, but everyone really does know,
These buffering behaviors are only sub-conscious protection to cover up what's wrong. It's not what you're eating; it was eating you; it's not that you're shopping it is that you need to shop to calm your heart.
Stop right here when that happens, takes six deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth, and relax as your physiology changes, so does your thinking it's not a total solution, but it's
a start to investigating the false hunger, the anxiety that needs a drink, the blue purse; it's a start with a difference, slowing down and coming back to the present moment, realizing you were safe and secure right here, and all of your needs are met.
Echo Laymon Pelster is a Motivational Keynote Speaker 🐝Mindset & Empowerment Coach🐝Best Selling Author 🐝Practice Management Specialist🐝OverComer🐝The Twisted Love Of Food Addiction Author 🐝Professional 🐝Passionate about Executive Recovery in a Private Setting. For Your private and confidential conversation with Echo, Book a 30 Minute Consultation Below.